Stop Going to Breakfast Restaurants!


It first came to my attention that people were fucking retards when my friend told me to check out this new “amazing breakfast restaurant”.

So I go on the website. Nice design, well crafted pictures, cool font, overall nice site.

I click on the Menu section, and suddenly everything I saw before this moment didn’t matter anymore.

The supreme dish, which was considered to be fancy, and possessed ultimate value in taste, was two fucking eggs, two slices of bread, some bacon, nicely cut fruit, and free milk refills. All for 15$.

My mouth dropped.

I couldn’t believe that people were stupid enough to pay for this shit.

Long story short, I didn’t end up going to that restaurant. Instead, I decided to write this post to tell you guys how ridiculous breakfast restaurants actually are.

So here’s the deal, folks. “Breakfast”, as we call it, is not supposed to be expensive.

A carton of eggs is around 2$, a loaf of bread is another 1-2$, a pack of ham is around 3$, and some fruit is less than 1$. In total, at the most expensive price, these commodities in completion are 8$.

And don’t forget…this is if we are eating the entire amount, which 99% of the people won’t do. That means you can have 12 eggs, 42 slices of bread, and around 15 slices of ham for only 8$, which would essentially feed you for days on end.

Yet, we have people who are willing to pay almost double the price (more than double if you include tips) for almost 10x less the food.

Does this make any sense to you guys?

Now, many of you may state that “it’s the service” that counts, or that you “wish to be served”.

To reply, I would say that this is a misallocation of resources. That is, you must drive to the breakfast restaurant back and forth, wait for the meal to be prepared and served to you, and then eat it in a sophisticated manner to prevent social condemnation.

by gcoghillAlso, do not forget that there are 7 days in a week, meaning you obviously require more than one breakfast. As a result, this long process may be repeated many times a week, thus tapping even more into time management.

In total, we are talking way more time investment to actually consume your food than if you were to cook it at home.

Guys, eggs take less than 2 minutes to cook. I usually have 8 of them in one sitting, and it’s still fast as hell. While my eggs are cooking, the bread is being toasted automatically, and I am cutting fruit in the meantime. Then, once the eggs are done, I throw on the ham in the frying pan, and I start eating my food. Halfway through my meal, the ham is done, so I slap it back on the plate, and continue eating.

Time taken to prepare all the food, and then eat it? Easily less than 10 minutes.

How about the cleaning process? Well, there’s one plate, one fork, and one pan. Less than 2 minutes to clean up for sure.

So in total, we are talking 12 minutes of complete time investment. Compare that to driving back and forth (possible waiting for traffic too), waiting for the food to be served, and eating the food slowly, my proposed method is far superior.

Therefore, I see no need to ever go to a breakfast restaurant. It just doesn’t make sense from a time management and economical perspective.

It is a complete misallocation of resources on all levels.

So next time you consider eating at one of these ridiculous places, consider what I said today.

Your man,


One Response

  1. Rhys Canty August 3, 2015

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